Row Row Row Your Boat...

Happy New Year! With the hustle and bustle of the Christmas holidays, I completely forgot about this blog. Since it is the beginning of the New Year, I suppose it's time to set new year's resolutions and get back to business, including writing.

It's hard to believe it's 2013 and that I have lived over 41 years already. Time passes by faster with each year. Maybe it's this urgency that makes old people sleep less and fill their days with more things than younger people. I'm stuck in the middle. I feel the urgency of the passing years but still like to fill my days with ATPing (assuming the position, doing nothing, lounging or as my dad used to say, 'loitering').

M asked me the other day if I had made any New Year's resolutions. I didn't really have an answer but it made me realize I stopped making new year's resolutions at some point. I think it's because I never really followed through. I never succeeded in the obligatory 'lose weight, look great' resolution that everyone has on their list. And I never really measured my success on any resolutions at the end of the year so what's the point right?

My philosophy on resolutions has changed as I've gotten older. I used to write letters with resolution lists, seal them and pin them to my board to read at the end of the year but without fail at the end of each year, I refused to open them. Seeing a year's worth of failures written on a piece of paper is much more damaging to my psyche than having them locked in my rusty noggin of a memory bank.

But I get why people make resolutions. Most people consider the start of a new year a fresh start either to wash away the previous year's sins and start anew or to rejuvinate themselves and strengthen their resolve for the things they've already been doing right in their lives. The problem I have is that I associate New Year's resolutions with a 1 year deadline to complete them. I recently took a personality profile test to help figure out my strengths, my weaknesses and where I might want to work next. Among other things, it said I do not work well with defined deadlines. I prefer open, moving deadlines which is exactly the truth. I took it not to mean that I can't meet deadlines but that I like to have the flexibility to change my goals as well as my deadlines as my life changes.

So in that vein and in this new era of 'Reinventing Shirley', no more resolutions. Instead, I am making 'resolvutions'. Definition: re-solve the puzzle of my life, conquer my nightmares and follow my dreams to become the person I am meant to be. The best part of this word is that it has no attachment to deadlines. My resolvutions could take a lifetime and I'm perfectly fine with that. In fact, I look forward to constantly changing goals and timelines. After all, I hope I never stop evolving myself.

Having said all this, I have not made any resolvutions yet but during a boring afternoon career track session several weeks ago I did start a list which I titled '365 Days to Re-invention'. Did I mention it was a VERY boring afternoon session? I could only think of 16 things so I'm not sure why I named it '365 days..'. I guess it just sounded good. So without further ado, here are the 16 items I came up with. More to follow in another post about what resolvutions I come up with. Some of the things below are short term goals. Others are what I call lifetime goals. I trust you won't judge me for what is written below.

365 days to Re-invention 1) Learn to Dance (check by the way. Learning as we speak.) 2) De-clutter 3) Don't be afraid of the man (Step 1 of goal check. I had to call the man several times since being laid off to ask for leniency in my debts. I was unsucessful in my attempts but that's not the point of this goal.) 4) Write Resume 5) Write Cover Letter 6) Take Toast Masters and conquer fear of speaking (this is my scariest goal thus far) 7) It's ok to take care of myself and get manis and pedis once in awhile if I feel like it. It doesn't mean I'm giving in to superficial behavior or becoming a princess. 8) Stop and smell the roses. IE., appreciate life's little things 9) Learn a musical instrument 10) Dating scene 11) Read for leisure, not just for book club 12) Upgrade computer skills 13) Go to church more regularly 14) Join professional organizations and networking groups despite extreme dislike of socializing outside of my circle 15) Take charge of finances. Take courses. Learn to invest and build for future and save for emergencies. 16) Attempt to reconnect with family and friends that I never had time for before. Human connections are the most important job we have and executing successfully is the most difficult thing to do when life grabs you by the nuts. Don't let 'being too busy' be an excuse.

And finally, I end with these words: Row row row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily merrily merrily merrily. Life is but a dream.

What does this mean? Is the songwriter referring to 'shit creek' when he/she refers to 'the stream'? Is the songwriter telling us shit happens so just go with the flow and that life, and therefore pain, is finite anyways so don't make everything a big deal? Or is the writer telling us that life should be about fulfilling the dreams that we dream so we should merrily go big or go home? I think I choose the latter interpretention but then again despite my sarcastic, self deprecating and increasingly crusty exterior, I've always considered myself a glass half full kinda gal. What about you?